Greasy Mouse

I had some down time at work so I spent some of it finding humorous tech stuff online. 

This was around 2001-ish, so the Internet was pretty much just text with some pictures. 

After wasting some time with the Bastard Operator from Hell, I somehow discovered a piece of software that gave off massive BOFH vibes and knew I had to play with it. 

It was called Greasy Mouse. It modified the mouse's acceleration behavior so that the mouse pointer became almost frictionless. A small tap on the mouse would send the cursor careening around the screen, bouncing off the edges uncontrollably. 

The actual purpose to GM was if you needed the mouse cursor to move more smoothly for whatever reason. 

The acceleration was controllable via a setting, so you could make it as sensitive as you needed.

So what did I do with this new found wonder? I installed it on a Solaris workstation that was shared by several other admins and cranked the sensitivity up to 11. 

I also didn't mention that I installed it. 

I don't like practical jokes because I think they are dangerous, but I couldn't think of a way anyone would be hurt with this so I sat back and watched. 

I was not disappointed. 

We were all sys admins with troubleshooting backgrounds and I have to say it was pretty satisfying watching the surprised looks on their faces the first time their mouse took on a life of its own. Then their eyes would narrow and I could see the machinery in their heads going into overdrive as the troubleshooting began. It didn't take too long to figure it out since I couldn't hold a straight face. 

Of course, once you know the secret, you have two options: tell everyone or keep silent while the next victim sat down at the workstation. 

Four out of the six of us chose silence. 

It was a blast while it lasted but I'd never do something like that now, although it would probably make a good teachable moment in a classroom.